A little manic...

So you know how we have sooo many people praying for Lily? Well maybe could you cut down on hers a bit and say some for me?  :)  This girl is the delight of my life and also driving me a little batty.

Some of the people in our travel group 

 thought that she was adopted a couple of years ago and we are just back for a visit.  Many people are here with their daughters for a homeland visit.  In fact, we have 3 other couples from Waterloo that live within 5 min of us. Others, like our guides and agency people cannot believe how well adjusted she is. She laughs all day long, plays, gives kisses etc.  Our dream child.  

AND THEN.....  

we have crying, screaming, sadness, yelling, hitting crazy chick. Yes, I do know why and understand but it can still be a little taxing.  Here are some photos

 within 10 minutes of eachother.  The first is her playing and kissing everyone and then not 10 minutes later Ken leaves to go play with the boys and I have quiet time with her.....  I know it's not nice to take pictures when she is crying but

 after 30 minutes I get a little bored and they are cute :)

As this too shall pass......

I have only survived this far with one of my adoption groups on-line (RQ) There are many people here who are going through this process or have gone through it several times. I have received help, encouragement and advise through this long wait.  So as I am going through this attachment stuff I naturally post where the "experts" are - to help get answers and to reassure what I am doing. Here is part of a great post that has helped me get through some of this.

"She is most likely testing you to make sure you will always be there and always love her. Whatever she does, keep a smile on your face and tell her you love her.  

Your most likely to make progress in the hotel room where they feel the safest. They are truly scared that we'll leave them like everyone else has her in life. It will get better."

When I think about all this crazy stuff in terms of her 3 year old mind my heart aches for her and completely understands why she is doing this.  It hurts a little but I am really o.k. with her rejecting me when daddy's around. I am just happy that she feels safe and knows that we are her forever family.