A Different Perspective
Immense Loss; Walk a Mile in Baby’s Booties
Imagine for a moment…
You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every
quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying
every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way
he looks into your eyes. For
the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate,"
for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart
beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every
joy, his every sorrow.
The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you
are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night,
exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge
that you are next to the
person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be
with you for the rest of your life.
The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your
eyes and immediately look for his face.
But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror.
Who is this man? Where is your beloved?
You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he
doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and
calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you,
pat you on the
back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.
But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will
he return? When? What has happened to him?
Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you
ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort
you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either
verbally or
emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has
happened...that your sweetheart is gone.
You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime
with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep
alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.
Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are
learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your
coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't
understand his bedtime songs,
you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.
More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting
next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you
by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing
is familiar. Where are
you? Where is he taking you?
You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a
room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You
are confused. And worried.
The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps
you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously
thrilled to see you.
You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is
your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles
(although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the
back, and puts your hand in
the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you
to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as
the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.
The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what
else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile,
so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is
long. You sleep a lot,
wanting to mentally escape from the situation.
Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads
you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light
bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to
another guy who hugs
you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man
who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you
a big hug and messes your hair.
Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the
biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons
to you in some language you've never heard before.
He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here
looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are
strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if
someone told him that you
like your coffee black.
You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours,
staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet
aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and
tries to comfort you with
soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to
asleep.
People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as
you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new
guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling
at how quickly you've
fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the
happiness.
Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away.
Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at
this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from
experience that men
come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.
Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you
expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so
great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new
guy to yelp in pain. He just
looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You
give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait
