It's been a couple of days so far.

I am amazed at how well Lily is adjusting.  She is happy and has really calmed down.  

Monday was Ken's first day back to work, when she realized he was

 leaving she put on her boots and started heading out after him.  When I brought her back in she stood at the front window and cried for Baba.  

Today there were no tears just a bye bye Baba and back to playing.  She is

 doing really well - playing with her dolls, colouring, going to the park and visiting family. She is sleeping really well too - she wakes up about once a night crying but all we have to do is go in, give her a kiss and she goes back to bed.  

Food has been a bit of a hit or miss.  She eats hard boiled eggs and not much more. I found a grocery store that sells authentic Chinese food - like whole ducks hanging in a rotisserie - head and all:)  I bought a ton of things that she ate in China and when I cooked them up for her she wouldn't' touch them.  Guess she'll be eating eggs and cucumber for a bit longer. Last night for dinner she wouldn't touch her pork chops but would put them on Ken's plate. When he fed her she ate them all :) Good old Baba!

We're home!!!

Yeah - we made it!!  It is so nice to be home. I feel so much more relaxed and didn't realize how tense I was. I realized I was all stressed out because everyone is watching you and how you react to this child who is testing you. We are home and she is relaxed and happy. She slept in her new room all night long.  

The flight itself was pretty good - we had a rough start though.  About an hour into the flight, Ken had to go to the washroom and there was a line-up.  He was gone for about 15 minutes - disaster.  I was sitting with Lily when she started to explode!!!  She first started calling Baba and after about 5 minutes full on SCREAMING!!! People were trying to give me toys, food anything. She would look at me and look so angry that I was keeping her from Baba and just scream at the top of her lungs and then the crying started - absolute wailing - she got herself so worked up that she puked all over herself, me and the puke bag! This in only the first hour of a 14 hour flight - I was a little stressed.  I took her in the washroom where she proceeded to scream her head off at me, cleaned us up as best as I could and rocked her to sleep - phew!!  She slept for most of the flight and was a really good girl.  Waking moments had to be with daddy.  When we all got to TO she was a bit of a stinker, running around at customs, rolling on the floor at the baggage claim because daddy went to go get the luggage - I love everyone staring at me wondering why I had this psycho child.  

By the time we got out the doors and saw Kelly waiting for us I was on the verge of tears and said "here you go meet your aunt" and handed her over. Not the "Welcome to Canada" I  was experiencing but we had just travelled for over 20 hours, were hot and exhausted.

Once at home, there were welcome home banners and balloons. She ran around with the boys and explored everything. She seems very comfortable and happy. We will see how the next few days pan out as she settles down - should be interesting!    

The last couple of pictures while in China.

Our facilitator - Yulin. She is truly amazing and has helped us find Lily and every step of the way.  She has helped create 100's if not 1000's of families. 

The last sleep - she was a little pooped after a night of partying :)  

The last picture is of the morning we left. She's got some crazy "night after the party hair" and is raring to go. 

Our goodbye celebration!!

We had a wonderful farewell celebration with great food, magic and tradition Chinese dance. It was all very neat and the kids loved it.  We are thrilled to be going home!  

All of the kids received scrolls with their names on them. They celebrate all the birthdays while we were in China and Ethan got to be part of the magic show. 

Pictures from the Forbidden City - it was a very hot and long day as you can tell by the pictures.  All the beautiful temples are starting to blur together now :)  You will also notice that there is a constant fog in all the pictures - you can't actually see the sun because there is always a haze - smog!

Dylan being the superstar again. 

I probably should apologize being a teacher and all. I know that I didn't proofread my blog well while in China but you have to remember that I was often posting in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep anymore or trying to quick get a post in before I passed out for the night - serious sleep deprivation!

We are on our way home...

Well our luggage has been picked up and we leave in half an hour. Lily is currently napping and i am getting ready. Ken has taken the boys to the lobby for a snack and a game of cards.  

I have so many mixed emotions right now. I am thrilled to be going home - I am sick and need my own bed:) We are all looking forward to beginning our life together.  We keep telling Lily that she is going home - we show her pictures of a plane, her bedroom and our house.  She just smiles and nods without a clue as to what's going on :) 

 I am sad for her as she leave behind her birthland and her culture.  I know that her life will be great in Canada however, she comes from a land and a people that she should be proud of. We will try and teach her the best we can about it.  We have had so many unique experiences but they were all awesome.  The chinese people are a very kind, happy and open people. So many people smiled, talked to us and helped us when we needed it. I will be sad to see China go.  

I do hope that Lily will get to experience her culture and know what a wonderful place this is to visit when she is old enough to appreciate it.  China will always be a very special and remarkable place to all of us - she gave us our daughter for that we will be forever grateful!

Talk to you in Canada!!!

Problems with the blog

For some reason I am unable to add any new photos - I will update when we get home. 

Our last full day!

Today was our last full day in China.  As much as we loved it here we are ready to go home and begin life as a family of five.  

Today we went to Tianneman Square and the Forbidden City - both were really neat to see. The Forbidden City is beautiful, all the buildings are breathtaking!  

Both places are very busy tourist attractions - some of the busiest in the world. Therefore they attract many different kinds of people. There were beggars out front which was diificult to see as they are not the homeless people we are used to but instead people with deformities or people bring their children that are deformed.  We saw one boy about Dylan's age covered in growths on his head and his arms were severely burned - it's one of those things that you would rather not see because it breaks your heart knowing that some children in the world have so much more to bare than we do.  

Dylan was still the star of the show - we would say Dylan to your left and he would sigh, turn, smile and pose. Too funny!

I can't seem to get my pictures from the day to post - I will post those when we come back from dinner. 

A little manic...

So you know how we have sooo many people praying for Lily? Well maybe could you cut down on hers a bit and say some for me?  :)  This girl is the delight of my life and also driving me a little batty.

Some of the people in our travel group 

 thought that she was adopted a couple of years ago and we are just back for a visit.  Many people are here with their daughters for a homeland visit.  In fact, we have 3 other couples from Waterloo that live within 5 min of us. Others, like our guides and agency people cannot believe how well adjusted she is. She laughs all day long, plays, gives kisses etc.  Our dream child.  

AND THEN.....  

we have crying, screaming, sadness, yelling, hitting crazy chick. Yes, I do know why and understand but it can still be a little taxing.  Here are some photos

 within 10 minutes of eachother.  The first is her playing and kissing everyone and then not 10 minutes later Ken leaves to go play with the boys and I have quiet time with her.....  I know it's not nice to take pictures when she is crying but

 after 30 minutes I get a little bored and they are cute :)

As this too shall pass......

I have only survived this far with one of my adoption groups on-line (RQ) There are many people here who are going through this process or have gone through it several times. I have received help, encouragement and advise through this long wait.  So as I am going through this attachment stuff I naturally post where the "experts" are - to help get answers and to reassure what I am doing. Here is part of a great post that has helped me get through some of this.

"She is most likely testing you to make sure you will always be there and always love her. Whatever she does, keep a smile on your face and tell her you love her.  

Your most likely to make progress in the hotel room where they feel the safest. They are truly scared that we'll leave them like everyone else has her in life. It will get better."

When I think about all this crazy stuff in terms of her 3 year old mind my heart aches for her and completely understands why she is doing this.  It hurts a little but I am really o.k. with her rejecting me when daddy's around. I am just happy that she feels safe and knows that we are her forever family. 

SHOPPING!!!!!!

So everyone told me the shopping was good in Beijing but not in my wildest dreams did I imagine this!!!!

We went to a market today that was huge!!!!!!!!!!  It has every name

brand you could imagine (knock-offs) but you can't tell and it all has the gap, tommy, ambercrombie tags on it. It's a little like a meat market in their - as soon as they see you coming they start harrassing you. At one point we couldn't find Dylan and he was picked up taken to a booth and had hightops on him. One lady saw Ethan with a wad of cash and actually held him so he couldn't leave. She was trying to get him to buy a set of Budha's!!  I had to come and pull him away - it was absolutely crazy.  I would try and haggle and Ethan would get so embarrased and just say mom that's enough just pay them:)

Dylan was quite proud of his gain today - he got a FREE Budha :)

We also went to a tea ceremony that was very interesting and we tried many types of teas - the boys drank them all and learned how to hold their china daintily!!

Lily had a great day but when Ken left with Ethan to go and get supper she screamed - and I mean SCREAMED for 40 minutes.  I had to hold her (while she was hitting me) and let her scream it out.  When you research and read books on attachment it tells you to let them cry it out and hold them (restrain them if they are being harmful) so that's what we are doing.  It saddens me because I know she is still dealing with detachment and she's not attaching to me as much as Ken. I do know that this will all work itself out when we get home.  

Monday - 3 days left

As much as we have loved our trip to China was are ready to be home and begin life as a family of 5.  Lily had a really good day today - very few screams and she only swatted me once:)

We had a quite morning and I took the kids swimming - we had a lot of fun and she loves being in the pool eventhough it is quite cold.  

In the afternoon we went to the Beijing Zoo where we had a great time and saw lots of Pandas.  Ken wasn't feeling well and stayed home to rest.  

We just got back from dinner with our friends Becky, Yi and Kevin. We went to an amazing Chinese restaurant and had our own little room with a TV, furniture and a dining area.  It was really nice and we enjoyed spending

 time with our friends back home.   

It was neat to have friends talk to Lily and

 translate for us.  They said she is a polite little girl - so hopefully all the crazy screams and hitting are due to her frustrations and stress of what's going on in her life.  Becky asked Lily if she knew she was going to live with us in Canada and she said yes.  Then she said we were going to walk back to Canada:)  Thanks again to Becky and Yi for treating us to a wonderful dinner and great time with friends half way across the world!!!

con't

Some more pictures that didn't post...

The Great Wall of China

We had a full day today. We started out by going to the Jade Factory  - there were amazing carvings and jewelry.  It customary in China for the mother to have a jade bangel and wear it all the time on the same wrist as the heart.  When her daughter marries she is to pass the bracelet along to give her a long happy life full of love.  So I got a beautiful bracelet - on loan until Lily gets married.  Gee we have only had her for a week and we are already thinking of her marriage:)

Which brings me to my next point - We have had Lily in our lives for a full week!!! We have run the every gamete of emotions and have fallen in love with her more and more each day.  

Yesterday and today are getting a little bit more challenging.  It's all Baba.  Baba has to carry, hold, sit with her everywhere.  It kind of makes me chuckle becuase he doesn'

t get to eat a meail in peace anymore:)  Tonight Ken took the boys for a swim and a workout :)  and I put Lily down for bed and she literally screamed bloody murder for 45 minutes. I even walked around the hotel looking for Ken but couldn't find him. I lied with her and rubbed her face but nothing I would do cut it.  My heart hurts for her - I know this is much more than she just wants her dad and is going to scream until she gets it.  I h

ave 2 theories - 1.  this is her first male relationship in her life (almost all workers at the orphanage are female) or 2.  The director of the orphanage is almost always male and they come in and visit and play with the children while the women do all the caring for so the man comes out as the play guy. 

Either way she definitely has an attachment with Ken although we need to make sure it stays healthy because Ken has to go to work on day and she will be with me.  A saleslady came up to us today on the rare occasion that I was holding her and asked her if I was her momma and she said no but there's my BABA.  Hmm nice! We just need to be patient with her as s

he so

rts through her little feelings. In the past week her life has been turned upside down and she is dealing with it the best way she knows how. She has attached well to all of us but just a little too much to Ken:) We'll help her work through it over the next couple of weeks and months. I think life will be a little easier once we get home and into a comfortable routine.

Finally, today we went to the great wall - wow!!!!  It is an amazing site to look at.  You have this sense of awe while you are on it - it reminded me a little bit of the Pearl Harbour feeling. Where you know this is a very special place and many have lost their lives here - a

n amazing piece of history.  It is very steep and exhausting.  There are parts of it where it feels like you are climbing a ladder.  The boys and I went up to the first watch post and back.  It took us about an hour.  When we came down my legs were quivering for awhile after - definitely a good workout. 

On the way home we drove through the Olympic City - that was also very neat.  We saw all the apartments for the Olympians, the stadium, and the bird's nest (part of the stadium built out of plastic materials that looks similar to a bird's nest???)

It was a long day but very fun!! Tomorrow morning we have off but are heading to the Beijing Zoo in he afternoon.  Tomorrow evening we are meeting our friends Becky and Yi for dinner - it will be nice to see some familiar faces from home - we are getting a little homesick!

The big group.

Everyone with our agency all came back to Beijing last night. They were in their child's provinces this week meeting their children and finalizing the adoptions. In total their are about 10 families and 10 precious little girls who have found their forever families.  There are 3 - three year old girls, 3-4 two year olds and the rest are around one. They are all so precious.  Of these little girls all of them are quiet, shy and just beginning to come out of their quiet little shells and then of course you have LILY!!!

The other familes are so laughing at us because we have this little girls who is marching around in her pigtails totally out-going, loud and silly.  You can hear her coming a mile away - that little girl scream again!  She has definitely come out of her shell and is one funny little girl with attitude.  I am a little afraid:)

We went out for a nice dinner last night and all of a sudden Lily started screaming and bawling. I couldn't calm her down so I took her outside. I asked one of the servers to ask her what was wrong and she told her "my baba - not gege's" in other words that is my daddy and not brothers daddy. Dylan had just crawled up on Ken's lap and she did not like that!

She is giving us all lots of kisses and is very happy and fast!