The Eckhardts - our family is growing!

Is everything this normal???

2009-07-20T10:25:00.000-07:00

I was having problems uploading the last couple of times I tried so I gave up. Some people have asked me if i will ever update again and thought it was about time.

Lily is doing GREAT!! She is very well adjusted, speaks only English and is a little stinker at times. She does have a meltdown every once in awhile but she shows the signs of a typical 3-year old. She's a girlie girl - loves dressess and make-up. She loves swiming and riding her bike and or course Dora and Straw-ba-ba-berry!

I LOVE having a girl..

2009-04-27T10:42:00.001-07:00

Seriously I love it. When I watch Lily playing dress-up and putting on make-up it makes me giddy!! I could totally do nails and play dress-up for hours. In this picture Lily and Phoebe painted each other's nails - they did a fine job. Phoebe was a little upset because Lily got nail polish up to the first knuckle on her. Lily loves to sing and dance - lately she has been trying to teach me a song in Chinese and keeps correcting my pronunciation :)

Who is this little girl..

2009-04-21T11:57:00.001-07:00

I was looking at some old photos from China and I can't believe that this little girl is the same one here today. She looks so little and sad in this photo and resembles nothing of the Lily we know today.

Even though there were so seriously difficult and emotional times I still feel like I should be pinched because everything is going so well. For the last 2 weeks we have had no screaming fits, meltdowns or huge battle of wills. Things have been going very well with Lily - she is doing a great job!!

We also were given an amazing shower at church (thanks Ang and Jo). Lily received so many nice clothes and toys - she was thrilled! When we first got there she was a little overwhelmed and would only go to Daddy and was acting up quite a bit. Once she assumed everyone "forgot" about her she was great! She rode her scooter, bike and helped open all her presents. She got so many awesome things that she is fully outfitted for this year and next. We are just so surrounded by people that love and support us it is often overwhelming. Ken and I both could only get out a few words of thanks until we started blubbering:) I hope everyone knew how appreciative we were.

Lily's first Easter

2009-04-16T09:49:00.000-07:00

We had a great Easter weekend with Lily and the boys. We coloured eggs, went on many egg hunts, spent time with family and lots other things. She has been awesome. This week she has really settled in - we have had no meltdowns or challenges in almost a week and she is coming to me as often as daddy. She is fitting in so well with our family and her cousins. I don't think she remembers not being here:)

2009-04-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

Not much to say today except ..... THANK GOODNESS FOR NAPS!!!!!!!!!!

Lily was a major cranky bum today so nap time started early and I am being SUPER quiet in hopes of a nice long nap:)

This week we had 2 awesome days in a row together where she was the happiest little girl ever, affectionate, giggling - it was so nice to see. Today she a little more cranky and when she gets that way she challenges ME about everything, eating, walking, what clothes she's wearing. Let's hope for three awesome days next week:)

Disclaimer :)

2009-04-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

So apparently some people are confused about my post yesterday. This is a post I found on an attachment website that tries to put an adults perspective on what a child is going through when they have gone through adoption!! Maybe I should have stated my frame of mind was solely on what I think Lily is going through. I personally did not write this but found it to be a good representation of what might be going on in her little mind.

Yesterday was a hard day - found this....

2009-04-08T05:54:00.000-07:00

A Different Perspective

Immense Loss; Walk a Mile in Baby’s Booties

Imagine for a moment…

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every

quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying

every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way

he looks into your eyes. For

the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate,"

for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart

beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every

joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you

are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night,

exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge

that you are next to the

person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be

with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your

eyes and immediately look for his face.

But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror.

Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he

doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and

calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you,

pat you on the

back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.

But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will

he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you

ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort

you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either

verbally or

emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has

happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime

with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep

alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.

Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are

learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your

coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't

understand his bedtime songs,

you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting

next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you

by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing

is familiar. Where are

you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a

room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You

are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps

you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously

thrilled to see you.

You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is

your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles

(although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the

back, and puts your hand in

the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you

to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as

the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what

else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile,

so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is

long. You sleep a lot,

wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads

you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light

bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to

another guy who hugs

you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man

who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you

a big hug and messes your hair.

Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the

biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons

to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here

looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are

strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if

someone told him that you

like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours,

staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet

aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and

tries to comfort you with

soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to

asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as

you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new

guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling

at how quickly you've

fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the

happiness.

Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away.

Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at

this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from

experience that men

come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you

expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so

great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new

guy to yelp in pain. He just

looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You

give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait

How is Lily doing???

2009-04-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

I get this question several times a day. Is she adjusting, attaching, etc. Lily is doing GREAT!! We have done so many things together and she really is awesome. I took her to see her first movie and she loved it - hence the 3D glasses in the last post. She does well at church, in restaurants, taking the boys to school each day, doctors, dentists and visiting friends. I am sometimes shocked at how well she is handling all this. This cetainly does not mean that things are PERFECT!! Today for instance she had her first little time out. She was set on the chair and I sat by her the entire time. She has a very strong will and I needed to let her know what she did was wrong. She had hurt me and all she needed to do was apologize. Well.......... after 25 minutes of screaming and hitting the chair she finally decided to apologize. When she was done she was happy as can be, kissing me, playing etc. I know some people say this is normal 3-year old stuff but this is also about attachment. Some signs of that we need to look out for (which could also be typical stuff, but many together can cause concern) a very strong will, extreme independence, not wanting to be comforted, hurting others, screaming etc. In reality, she has only been with us for 1 month and in Canada for 2 weeks. So really she is doing really well and attaching well - it does not mean that we don't have things to work on. We don't leave her without at least 1 parent, we discourage other people from holding her (especially in stressful situations) and only allow mom, dad or brothers to console her when sad or hurt. This is our first go at it so we are still reading and researching and trying to do our best :)

Hopefully we are doing something right:)

Our 1 Month Anniversary!!!!

2009-04-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

Well not technically, but 4 Sundays ago they placed Lily into our arm - albeit screaming:)

What a month!!! It feels like she has been in our lives forever and yet she still feels so new to us. Today we went to church and to our nephew's confirmation - she did a great job all day long! I must say most days she is doing amazingly well - there are a few times that she has times when she goes a little berserk.

Yesterday, Lily and I were looking at our photos from China - we were talking about everything we did there. When we came to the pictures of the orphanage and the pictures where we first met, I looked down and realized that she was silently crying. I rocked her and talked to her and she just so sadly cried for about 15 min. Because she is such a happy, outgoing little girl, I sometimes forget that she is still sad and mourning her life - the only life she knew.

She still loves her music - this morning her and I were danc

ing to ABBA - of course the Dancing Queen :) When I was reading her orphanage referral I forgot that they had mentioned that she already then loved music and dancing to it - thata girl!!!

She also suckered some more people for thier phones and was doing the dance with Vicky and Giselle!!

Things I have learned...

2009-04-01T15:24:00.000-07:00

Here are the top 5 things I have learned since having a daughter (that still makes me smile:)

1. Your beloved Chai Latte is no longer yours alone - you now must share with the girl. Why aren't boys ever interested in Latte's?

2. Hair pretty's are in every drawer, pocket and cupboard

3. Your favourite lip gloss' go missing frequently

4. You are not the only one with major bedhead

5. It's really not all about you in the morning, instead you have someone else to get pretty

She has now moved on from our Ipods to our camera and phone. She has destroyed our camera (we needed a new one anyways) and dropped my phone in a puddle today - argh!! No more adult toys for her. Since she ruined our camera we were unable to update our blog. We will try and keep you updated a couple of times a week on how she is doing. Slowly but surely the big bags under my eyes are disappearing :)

It's been a couple of days so far.

2009-03-24T07:41:00.001-07:00

I am amazed at how well Lily is adjusting. She is happy and has really calmed down.

Monday was Ken's first day back to work, when she realized he was

leaving she put on her boots and started heading out after him. When I brought her back in she stood at the front window and cried for Baba.

Today there were no tears just a bye bye Baba and back to playing. She is

doing really well - playing with her dolls, colouring, going to the park and visiting family. She is sleeping really well too - she wakes up about once a night crying but all we have to do is go in, give her a kiss and she goes back to bed.

Food has been a bit of a hit or miss. She eats hard boiled eggs and not much more. I found a grocery store that sells authentic Chinese food - like whole ducks hanging in a rotisserie - head and all:) I bought a ton of things that she ate in China and when I cooked them up for her she wouldn't' touch them. Guess she'll be eating eggs and cucumber for a bit longer. Last night for dinner she wouldn't touch her pork chops but would put them on Ken's plate. When he fed her she ate them all :) Good old Baba!

We're home!!!

2009-03-20T05:22:00.000-07:00

Yeah - we made it!! It is so nice to be home. I feel so much more relaxed and didn't realize how tense I was. I realized I was all stressed out because everyone is watching you and how you react to this child who is testing you. We are home and she is relaxed and happy. She slept in her new room all night long.

The flight itself was pretty good - we had a rough start though. About an hour into the flight, Ken had to go to the washroom and there was a line-up. He was gone for about 15 minutes - disaster. I was sitting with Lily when she started to explode!!! She first started calling Baba and after about 5 minutes full on SCREAMING!!! People were trying to give me toys, food anything. She would look at me and look so angry that I was keeping her from Baba and just scream at the top of her lungs and then the crying started - absolute wailing - she got herself so worked up that she puked all over herself, me and the puke bag! This in only the first hour of a 14 hour flight - I was a little stressed. I took her in the washroom where she proceeded to scream her head off at me, cleaned us up as best as I could and rocked her to sleep - phew!! She slept for most of the flight and was a really good girl. Waking moments had to be with daddy. When we all got to TO she was a bit of a stinker, running around at customs, rolling on the floor at the baggage claim because daddy went to go get the luggage - I love everyone staring at me wondering why I had this psycho child.

By the time we got out the doors and saw Kelly waiting for us I was on the verge of tears and said "here you go meet your aunt" and handed her over. Not the "Welcome to Canada" I was experiencing but we had just travelled for over 20 hours, were hot and exhausted.

Once at home, there were welcome home banners and balloons. She ran around with the boys and explored everything. She seems very comfortable and happy. We will see how the next few days pan out as she settles down - should be interesting!

The last couple of pictures while in China.

2009-03-20T04:56:00.000-07:00

Our facilitator - Yulin. She is truly amazing and has helped us find Lily and every step of the way. She has helped create 100's if not 1000's of families.

The last sleep - she was a little pooped after a night of partying :)

The last picture is of the morning we left. She's got some crazy "night after the party hair" and is raring to go.

Our goodbye celebration!!

2009-03-20T04:51:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful farewell celebration with great food, magic and tradition Chinese dance. It was all very neat and the kids loved it. We are thrilled to be going home!

All of the kids received scrolls with their names on them. They celebrate all the birthdays while we were in China and Ethan got to be part of the magic show.

2009-03-20T04:38:00.000-07:00

Pictures from the Forbidden City - it was a very hot and long day as you can tell by the pictures. All the beautiful temples are starting to blur together now :) You will also notice that there is a constant fog in all the pictures - you can't actually see the sun because there is always a haze - smog!

Dylan being the superstar again.

I probably should apologize being a teacher and all. I know that I didn't proofread my blog well while in China but you have to remember that I was often posting in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep anymore or trying to quick get a post in before I passed out for the night - serious sleep deprivation!

We are on our way home...

2009-03-18T22:29:00.000-07:00

Well our luggage has been picked up and we leave in half an hour. Lily is currently napping and i am getting ready. Ken has taken the boys to the lobby for a snack and a game of cards.

I have so many mixed emotions right now. I am thrilled to be going home - I am sick and need my own bed:) We are all looking forward to beginning our life together. We keep telling Lily that she is going home - we show her pictures of a plane, her bedroom and our house. She just smiles and nods without a clue as to what's going on :)

I am sad for her as she leave behind her birthland and her culture. I know that her life will be great in Canada however, she comes from a land and a people that she should be proud of. We will try and teach her the best we can about it. We have had so many unique experiences but they were all awesome. The chinese people are a very kind, happy and open people. So many people smiled, talked to us and helped us when we needed it. I will be sad to see China go.

I do hope that Lily will get to experience her culture and know what a wonderful place this is to visit when she is old enough to appreciate it. China will always be a very special and remarkable place to all of us - she gave us our daughter for that we will be forever grateful!

Talk to you in Canada!!!

Problems with the blog

2009-03-18T16:50:00.001-07:00

For some reason I am unable to add any new photos - I will update when we get home.

Our last full day!

2009-03-18T00:40:00.000-07:00

Today was our last full day in China. As much as we loved it here we are ready to go home and begin life as a family of five.

Today we went to Tianneman Square and the Forbidden City - both were really neat to see. The Forbidden City is beautiful, all the buildings are breathtaking!

Both places are very busy tourist attractions - some of the busiest in the world. Therefore they attract many different kinds of people. There were beggars out front which was diificult to see as they are not the homeless people we are used to but instead people with deformities or people bring their children that are deformed. We saw one boy about Dylan's age covered in growths on his head and his arms were severely burned - it's one of those things that you would rather not see because it breaks your heart knowing that some children in the world have so much more to bare than we do.

Dylan was still the star of the show - we would say Dylan to your left and he would sigh, turn, smile and pose. Too funny!

I can't seem to get my pictures from the day to post - I will post those when we come back from dinner.

A little manic...

2009-03-17T04:39:00.000-07:00

So you know how we have sooo many people praying for Lily? Well maybe could you cut down on hers a bit and say some for me? :) This girl is the delight of my life and also driving me a little batty.

Some of the people in our travel group

thought that she was adopted a couple of years ago and we are just back for a visit. Many people are here with their daughters for a homeland visit. In fact, we have 3 other couples from Waterloo that live within 5 min of us. Others, like our guides and agency people cannot believe how well adjusted she is. She laughs all day long, plays, gives kisses etc. Our dream child.

AND THEN.....

we have crying, screaming, sadness, yelling, hitting crazy chick. Yes, I do know why and understand but it can still be a little taxing. Here are some photos

within 10 minutes of eachother. The first is her playing and kissing everyone and then not 10 minutes later Ken leaves to go play with the boys and I have quiet time with her..... I know it's not nice to take pictures when she is crying but

after 30 minutes I get a little bored and they are cute :)

As this too shall pass......

I have only survived this far with one of my adoption groups on-line (RQ) There are many people here who are going through this process or have gone through it several times. I have received help, encouragement and advise through this long wait. So as I am going through this attachment stuff I naturally post where the "experts" are - to help get answers and to reassure what I am doing. Here is part of a great post that has helped me get through some of this.

"She is most likely testing you to make sure you will always be there and always love her. Whatever she does, keep a smile on your face and tell her you love her.

Your most likely to make progress in the hotel room where they feel the safest. They are truly scared that we'll leave them like everyone else has her in life. It will get better."

When I think about all this crazy stuff in terms of her 3 year old mind my heart aches for her and completely understands why she is doing this. It hurts a little but I am really o.k. with her rejecting me when daddy's around. I am just happy that she feels safe and knows that we are her forever family.

SHOPPING!!!!!!

2009-03-17T02:56:00.000-07:00

So everyone told me the shopping was good in Beijing but not in my wildest dreams did I imagine this!!!!

We went to a market today that was huge!!!!!!!!!! It has every name

brand you could imagine (knock-offs) but you can't tell and it all has the gap, tommy, ambercrombie tags on it. It's a little like a meat market in their - as soon as they see you coming they start harrassing you. At one point we couldn't find Dylan and he was picked up taken to a booth and had hightops on him. One lady saw Ethan with a wad of cash and actually held him so he couldn't leave. She was trying to get him to buy a set of Budha's!! I had to come and pull him away - it was absolutely crazy. I would try and haggle and Ethan would get so embarrased and just say mom that's enough just pay them:)

Dylan was quite proud of his gain today - he got a FREE Budha :)

We also went to a tea ceremony that was very interesting and we tried many types of teas - the boys drank them all and learned how to hold their china daintily!!

Lily had a great day but when Ken left with Ethan to go and get supper she screamed - and I mean SCREAMED for 40 minutes. I had to hold her (while she was hitting me) and let her scream it out. When you research and read books on attachment it tells you to let them cry it out and hold them (restrain them if they are being harmful) so that's what we are doing. It saddens me because I know she is still dealing with detachment and she's not attaching to me as much as Ken. I do know that this will all work itself out when we get home.

Monday - 3 days left

2009-03-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

As much as we have loved our trip to China was are ready to be home and begin life as a family of 5. Lily had a really good day today - very few screams and she only swatted me once:)

We had a quite morning and I took the kids swimming - we had a lot of fun and she loves being in the pool eventhough it is quite cold.

In the afternoon we went to the Beijing Zoo where we had a great time and saw lots of Pandas. Ken wasn't feeling well and stayed home to rest.

We just got back from dinner with our friends Becky, Yi and Kevin. We went to an amazing Chinese restaurant and had our own little room with a TV, furniture and a dining area. It was really nice and we enjoyed spending

time with our friends back home.

It was neat to have friends talk to Lily and

translate for us. They said she is a polite little girl - so hopefully all the crazy screams and hitting are due to her frustrations and stress of what's going on in her life. Becky asked Lily if she knew she was going to live with us in Canada and she said yes. Then she said we were going to walk back to Canada:) Thanks again to Becky and Yi for treating us to a wonderful dinner and great time with friends half way across the world!!!

con't

2009-03-15T06:07:00.001-07:00

Some more pictures that didn't post...

The Great Wall of China

2009-03-15T05:20:00.000-07:00

We had a full day today. We started out by going to the Jade Factory - there were amazing carvings and jewelry. It customary in China for the mother to have a jade bangel and wear it all the time on the same wrist as the heart. When her daughter marries she is to pass the bracelet along to give her a long happy life full of love. So I got a beautiful bracelet - on loan until Lily gets married. Gee we have only had her for a week and we are already thinking of her marriage:)

Which brings me to my next point - We have had Lily in our lives for a full week!!! We have run the every gamete of emotions and have fallen in love with her more and more each day.

Yesterday and today are getting a little bit more challenging. It's all Baba. Baba has to carry, hold, sit with her everywhere. It kind of makes me chuckle becuase he doesn'

t get to eat a meail in peace anymore:) Tonight Ken took the boys for a swim and a workout :) and I put Lily down for bed and she literally screamed bloody murder for 45 minutes. I even walked around the hotel looking for Ken but couldn't find him. I lied with her and rubbed her face but nothing I would do cut it. My heart hurts for her - I know this is much more than she just wants her dad and is going to scream until she gets it. I h

ave 2 theories - 1. this is her first male relationship in her life (almost all workers at the orphanage are female) or 2. The director of the orphanage is almost always male and they come in and visit and play with the children while the women do all the caring for so the man comes out as the play guy.

Either way she definitely has an attachment with Ken although we need to make sure it stays healthy because Ken has to go to work on day and she will be with me. A saleslady came up to us today on the rare occasion that I was holding her and asked her if I was her momma and she said no but there's my BABA. Hmm nice! We just need to be patient with her as s

he so

rts through her little feelings. In the past week her life has been turned upside down and she is dealing with it the best way she knows how. She has attached well to all of us but just a little too much to Ken:) We'll help her work through it over the next couple of weeks and months. I think life will be a little easier once we get home and into a comfortable routine.

Finally, today we went to the great wall - wow!!!! It is an amazing site to look at. You have this sense of awe while you are on it - it reminded me a little bit of the Pearl Harbour feeling. Where you know this is a very special place and many have lost their lives here - a

n amazing piece of history. It is very steep and exhausting. There are parts of it where it feels like you are climbing a ladder. The boys and I went up to the first watch post and back. It took us about an hour. When we came down my legs were quivering for awhile after - definitely a good workout.

On the way home we drove through the Olympic City - that was also very neat. We saw all the apartments for the Olympians, the stadium, and the bird's nest (part of the stadium built out of plastic materials that looks similar to a bird's nest???)

It was a long day but very fun!! Tomorrow morning we have off but are heading to the Beijing Zoo in he afternoon. Tomorrow evening we are meeting our friends Becky and Yi for dinner - it will be nice to see some familiar faces from home - we are getting a little homesick!

The big group.

2009-03-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

Everyone with our agency all came back to Beijing last night. They were in their child's provinces this week meeting their children and finalizing the adoptions. In total their are about 10 families and 10 precious little girls who have found their forever families. There are 3 - three year old girls, 3-4 two year olds and the rest are around one. They are all so precious. Of these little girls all of them are quiet, shy and just beginning to come out of their quiet little shells and then of course you have LILY!!!

The other familes are so laughing at us because we have this little girls who is marching around in her pigtails totally out-going, loud and silly. You can hear her coming a mile away - that little girl scream again! She has definitely come out of her shell and is one funny little girl with attitude. I am a little afraid:)

We went out for a nice dinner last night and all of a sudden Lily started screaming and bawling. I couldn't calm her down so I took her outside. I asked one of the servers to ask her what was wrong and she told her "my baba - not gege's" in other words that is my daddy and not brothers daddy. Dylan had just crawled up on Ken's lap and she did not like that!

She is giving us all lots of kisses and is very happy and fast!

One week ago today....

2009-03-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

One week ago today our lives changed forever. I don't think we realized how much change we would go through and how difficult and emotional this journey would have been.

I really struggled with whether or not I should share this post but in the end I decided too. Many of you will never experience what we have gone through. Many here have or will (my RQ friends) in the next couple of months and so I thought it important to share some of the thoughts and emotions that we have gone through on this journey to adopt our Lily.

Let me start my saying that for the last four years my dreams have been filled with big huge chocolate brown almond shaped eyes staring at me calling me moma. Lily (even though I did not know her yet) filled my dreams and waking moments. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was tied and connected to a little girl in China that I loved deeply. For one, I always knew I would adopt. For the last 7 or 8 years I had hoped it would be from China . We thought about adoption before Dylan and researched it but decided that it was not the right time - good thing because we got our little jumping bean Dylan. When that ache came for another child I knew in my heart that we would adopt from China - I just had to get Ken on board. After a couple of months and some serious talks he agreed. Throught the 3.5 year wait for Lily I never doubted that I would fall instantly in love even though sometime I doubted that this would ever happen with the increasing wait time I knew I would love her with all my heart.

Fast forward from all that to the past week. After the years of research and chat g

roups I felt pretty confident that I knew what to expect. I just had to get here and hold my daughter and we would work through the rest - attachment, language barrier. What I did not expect and what shocked me the most was my feelings. In no way was I prepared to feel what I did which I think made it so difficult for me at the beginning.

After almost 18 hours of travel door to door we arrive at our destination in Beijing. In the first 5 minutes we hear someone say "Where are the Beijing people - we need to talk to them there has been a change" - that was us. So, jetlagged, nervous, homesick, nasueaus and everything else, they told us that we were getting our daughter tomorrow and we had better get all our stuff done. So off to bed we went to getup early exchange money, pack gifts, organizing endless amounts of paperwork, Lily's backpack and get ready to go to this life-changing event.

1:00 comes and we are all exhausted, competely overwhelmed, none of us had eaten properly yet and in the van we go. We get lost and drive through some of the poorest parts of the city. I know Ken is freaking and I can bearly breathe my chest is tightening I think I am going to be sick. I honestly think if there had been a private jet waiting for us we would have run fast, hopped on and been out of there.

We show up at the orphanage, go to several different buildings, pay the donation, go to another building, sign our life away and are told to wait....... The four of us were silent, we didn't know what to think or do. Then we see her - this little dollie all bundled up looking like the Michelin Muffler man in 4 layers of clothes and she starts crying and stays that way for an hour. She cries and cried. We all get in the car with this screaming child, we are all hot, feel sick and all I can think is "What have I done???

I then pull her over to sit on my lap, she doesn't stop crying, she smells weird (as I am sure we did to her too:), she's snotty and sweaty. A momma bear thing kicked in and I knew that as a mother I need to meet this poor child's needs. So I rocked her and hugged her all the while thinking "is this really my child because it sure doesn't feel that way?"

The next morning we woke up and went through the motions and more meetings. This was my hardest day yet. Still jet-lagged and getting a cold I pretended to be momma of this litle girl. I thought she was super cute but I didn't love her and that's when I knew my feelings had betrayed me. I was devastated, I cried all day and felt sick. Someone would ask how I am doing and I would paste on a smile and my eyes would fill up with tears. I would go to the washroom and cry and thought I was scared to death, I just didn't feel what I thought I was supposed to be feeling. I always thought these first days together as a family would be euphoric and magical.

Over the next day or two we began to get to know her and fall in love! I can honestly say that I love her with my whole heart. I just expected it to be immediate - Love at first sight. After all, I have dreamt about loving her for so many years.

I had read and was prepared that she would not attach right away but I never once thought it would take a couple of days for us parents to attach. I can tell you they were the most joyous days but also the most difficult days of my life.

In one short week Lily has joined our lives and brought us much laughter and joy. She is a beautiful little girl with A LOT of personality. She has a smile that shines and lights up the room. We look at her and our hearts feel like they are going to burst with love. We know that this was engineered by God above.

We do know that there will be many challenging days ahead but with love we can conquer them all. We are so thankful and blessed that we were able to bring this little girl into our family.

We all love you Lily!!

P.S. I just got my first kiss from Lily - I had to bribe her with a crayon but I got one!!!

A new day!

2009-03-12T20:46:00.000-07:00

Everyone seemed to have a really good sleep last night and we are all in a good mood for a change:) We had no plans this morning so Lily and I went to the bank, shopping and picked up some yummy looking things are the bakery. Ken and the boys are exploring and swimming. Lily is doing really well today no screaming so far :)

We are meeting our guide at around 1:00 so I just put Lily down for a nap.

While Lily and I were out shopping many people stop me and say - your baby looks Chinese. I always tell them that she is and can speak Mandarin too. They try talking to her but she won't speak a word to them. We are also getting used to the stares. I don't mean an indiscreet stare but someone could be standing right beside you, turn their whole body and stare right at you, you look and smile and they keep on staring. It feels a little weird but it's just seems like something that's acceptable in their culture so we deal with it. It ma

kes us feel a little awkward but it's getting better. Every single person that has encountered us has been so kind and happy that we are getting over the fact that they are staring but instead chalk it up to just being curious as to why us white folk are walking around with a little asian girl:)

The shopping is a little crazy - think of the farmers market all packed with people and stalls everywhere. This is similar but with clothes and clothes and everything else. 4 or 5 floors of stuff, you go from vendor to vendor and everyone is trying to sell you something. I keep getting overwhelmed and never buy anything. They have every name brand you can think of but usually only 1 of everything. It's crazy!

Lily has completely confiscated my IPOD now. She hasn't taken it off all morning and loves listening to the music. She may not come home speaking English but man she will be singing some serious ABBA!!

The boys are just awesome with her. Dylan plays and plays with her and Ethan will do anything she asks. They are having a lot of fun being big brothers!

What have we done!!!!!!!!

2009-03-12T05:38:00.000-07:00

Do all girls have really high pitched screams???????????

This afternoon and evening was quite interesting. She is definitely testing her boundaries today with us. I actually had to give her a time-out. Try explaining that one in broken chinese and english. She yelled at all of us all day. She yelled at Ken to carry her or hold her hand and whenever anyone of us tried to touch her we

got the high pitch scream. Hmm interesting day!

She was all snuggly and cutie pututie (sp) by the end of the night and just snuggled in to bed. I hope tomorrow is a litt

le easier on us as she put us through the wringer today.

She's an Eckhardt!!!

2009-03-11T23:33:00.001-07:00

Finally, we are proud to announce Lilian Rain Marie Eckhardt - yeah!! She's official. After an entire day we are done all the paperwork for China.

First we went to the Civil Affairs building to received the Adoption Certification, then we went to the Notary's office to have it authenticated THEN we went to the passport office to get her a Chinese passport. We didn't get this one completed as she is registered under 2 different names, one from the police report of her finding and the other from the orphanage. Our job is done, our guide will complete the rest. It's a mighty good thing because the kids are squirrley and driving us CRAZY - yes even Lily!!!

We had our driver from Sunday (when we went to get Lily) and his van. We haven't seen them since that day. As soon as we got outside and she saw the driver and the van she started crying and wouldn't get in the car. I think the poor little sweetheart thought her "holiday" was over and we were giving her back. She wouldn't speak for about an hour -she was very somber.

She is also in love with Ken. All day she has been literally yelling at him - BABA - pick me up, BABA - I want you to carry me. You will notice I didn't really get to hold her too much - it was ALL about BABA today.

And no - I still have not found a Chinese straightener!!!!!!!

No tears..

2009-03-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day there were no tears of sadness..... She hurt herself twice (not my fault:) it was only a bouncy castle accident. She seems happy - even our guide said that she seems to have really settled in and is very happy.

Pinch me - am I dreaming.....

2009-03-11T06:53:00.001-07:00

Our civil affairs appointment is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m - yeah!!!

Not only did I get my daughter but I think I got the cutest one in China...

She might be cute but she is a stinker - dinner was interesting. She kept yelling in Chinese - don't touch me, I need to fly. She was getting really mad too when I asked her what she was saying. She would yell don't touch me I need to flyand start walking around the restaurant. This is through translation of the server. So apparently she thinks she can fly ???

Update: hmmm if you are thinking that you want a massage in China come talk to us. Ken and Penny learned the interesting way that massages in Beijing are a little bit different than the ones in Canada :)

Raising a child that has lived in an orphanage.....

2009-03-11T01:21:00.000-07:00

Today we drove by the Beijing Railway Station and it really touched me deep in my soul. I hurt for my little girl and tears are in my eyes even as I look at this picture. It devastates me to even think about that fateful day on August 30th. This is the place that she was found when she was two weeks old. I don't have much to say on the topic becuase it saddens me. In my heart I believe that her mother must have struggled greatly with that decision and thought it was better for Quiyu to be placed in an orphanage rather than with her own mother. With God's help she has become a part of our Forever Family to which I will be eternally grateful for. I pray for that mother that she has a sense of peace knowing that Lily is loved and cared for.

There are things that are beginning to pop up that I wonder or know that it is a part of the orphanage life.

1. The first one is not too bad - I can't complain. She puts herself to bed. I say bedtime and pat the bed and she will look at me smile hop in roll over stick two fingers in her mouth and go to sleep. Now we have changed that to lots of hugs and kisses, a ton of "wo ai ni" I love you, and good night prayers. But still a child that is happy as all get out to nap and sleep - I'm not complaining.

2. The next one is a bit of a concern. She EATS!!! and I mean eats. We are at the point where she outeats all the boys and adults too. I am keeping a close eye on her as I think either she does not know the feeling of full (perhaps she never got full) or she has never tasted such flavourful food or she is using it as a coping mechanism to what is going on in her life. Not sure yet but I am limiting the amount of food that's going in. At lunch our guide kept giving her plate after plate and I was having a fit. I didn't want to offend anyone so I didn't say anything but she literally ate more than Ken. I thought for sure she would be sick - but she's sleeping it off.

3. When I undress her she folds her own clothes. I didn't realize what she was doing at first but yep that was it. I guess when there were 1,000 children living in her orphanage she didn't have anyone to do it for her.

I try not to dwell too much on her life in the orphanage as it will really upset me, however, I do need to watch for signs and ensure she is adjusting properly and letting go of some of the things that mom is supposed to do for her.

A word from the East!

2009-03-11T00:58:00.000-07:00

No luck - the civil affairs office did not call us yet so the adoption is still not finalized. I think I will breathe a big happy sigh when it is all signed, sealed and delivered.

Are they really entrusting this kid to me???

We went out for a nice western breakfast and came back up to the room quick to get some documents in case "they" called. Lily had to go pee so I plopped her on the potty and went to go grab something quick - I then heard a high pitched bao bao!! or something like that. I came running and found her IN the toilet. She had completely fallen in and only her head and feet were out. She was soaked from head to toe. I really wanted to grab a camera but thought that leaving her in there would be cruel :)

We then went to the indoor market - crazy stuff there, the park and out for lunch. Here are some pics for the day. You will notice that in one picture Lily is eating with chopsticks - she did better than all of us.

There many things that you need to get used to in China.

1. the toilets are like urinals in the ground and there is NO toilet paper. Most places are westernized but some of the parks, gov.t offices and restaurants are still the old way - no an easy feat!

2. At the park I asked to take Dylan to the washroom the lady told me to just go pee at the big tree:) When I asked again because Lily had to go she told me to go to the same tree. This is in a very public place - but apparently the washrooms were too far.

3. Little kids with split pants on flash you often!! Split pants are training pants for kids and they apparently wear them all of the time. I couldn't resist a shot of this little kids trying his darndest to get up the slide showing a view everytime!!

4. Apparently taking up tai chi and TANGO in the park is the thing to do on a Wednesday morning. There were at least 100 people of all ages dancing and stretching in the middle of the park - work or dancing - what shall it be?

5. The menus are hilarious. I am sure it says something appropriate in Chinese but some of the english translations were very funny. I think the one picture has a dish and the description is... a nice flowery fungus to talk about good friends ??? WHAT AM I EATING??

Ken's birthday

2009-03-10T16:17:00.000-07:00

My two littlest angels are still sleeping in my room. Dylan had a hard day yesterday and was a little emotional so I am glad he is getting some rest.

Today is Ken's birthday - Happy Birthday Ken!!!

Being the bad wife - and the fact that we were al puking the week we left for China, I forgot to even pack him a card :( Oops, hopefully he will understand). We are going shopping today so we will get him something there.

The adoption is supposed to be finalized today - that would be a great present for him!!!

Ugh - another day waiting...

2009-03-10T00:43:00.000-07:00

So we waited and waited, our guide told us to just come down at 11:00 and we would see about going to the government offices. They never called so we weren't able to finalize the adoption. It is scheduled hopefully for tomorrow. Instead we went to Behai Park (sp?), the grounds were beautiful and it was a nice crisp day for a walk. When we got there Lily saw/heard many people speaking mandarin and it set her off. She cried and moaned (a really sad grieving noise) for about 1/2 hour.

Dylan and Ethan were like superstars, everywhere we go people want their kids to get a picture taken with them - they are not so sure about it. One couple told our guide that our child didn't look like the mom - so our guide explained that we had adopted her. We have gotten many stares but they think we are nice folk anyways. At the grocery store one man told me that my daughter could ALMOST pass for Chinese :)

So where did this kid come from....

Lily is really starting to come out of her shell. She found Ethan's IPOD and has taken quite the liking to it. In fact, she stole it and has been hiding it in her kangaroo pocket. At the park today, she hid it in her coat and would not take her hand out of her pocket. One hand was holding on to Ken and our guide Camilla wanted to hold her hand as well. In mandarin she said: "No, my hand isn't free I am hiding it (the ipod) from my gege (brother). A little while later she tried to hold her hand again and she gave her a dirty look and said "I don't have a hand anymore". It's neat having our guide because she can translate all the funny things Lily is saying. We can meet all her necessary needs but now we get the "fun" stuff.

Waiting...

2009-03-09T19:14:00.001-07:00

So we are waiting....... Today is the big day that Lily officially becomes our daughter. We are waiting to here from our guide that the Civil Affairs office is ready, we then head over and wait. I think it's similar to court where you go and wait until they call your name and have an interview with you and sign all the papers. We were told to bring snacks and lots to do for the kids because it will take awhile. After this I believe that this will be the last of the appointments for awhile. So while we waited I got to practise my first pony tails :)

A funny mom story.

2009-03-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

So since getting Lily, I have been a little obsessed about checking her over - weird I know. When I give her a bath and wash her hair, I check for bumps or marks or lice on her head, when drying her off I make sure her mongol birth mark on her back just that and not bruises, when I paint her toenails I check to make sure she's got all of them and ask "are her toes long enough, webbed?" no she has perfect little toes. Ken thinks I am nuts and I am not a worry wart it's just something I am doing and can't explain. Anyways, so we bought her these adorable little chocolate brown ugg boots. We put them on her yesterday and she loved them. She then started walking funny, a little bow legged and limping. So I kept watching her do this and getting more and more worried. Maybe she has something wrong with her leg, or her gait ahh. It wasn't until we were at the Civil Affairs building signing our papers that I realized I forgot to take out the cardboard and tissue paper. The poor thing had her toes all cramped up in half the boot, not complaining and STILL loving the Uggs!

Our first full day comes to an end...

2009-03-09T05:24:00.001-07:00

When Lily awoke from her nap she was very sad - she cried for a goo d 1/2 hour. I took her into the boys room and she perked up a little. Tonight we went for a walk on the town - we are all so exhausted, I thought we should get out for awhile. This is what I envisioned Beijing to look like - big huge flashing buildings, people everywhere - it looks almost like a cross between Vegas and New York. We had a late lunch and we not very hungry so guess what we got

a treat a McDonalds. I know that is terrible but it's the only fast-food place we recognize and we have been eating other really healthy meals. So we have had Lily for 1.5 days n

ow and introduced her to a happy meal - bad parents. For those following that don't really know us we really are not fast food junkies - this is a time of desperation and craving something from home.

She loves the boys - she walks everywhere holding both of their hands. She is enthralled at all the lights and people everywhere. When Dylan went bouncing away to look at something, she stopped, refused to move and yelled Lai lai to him (come). It was quite funny.

She just finished having a bath, painting our toenails and I set her on the bed with a ton of toys. I ran to the washroom and when I came out she had hid all her toys under her pillow and put herself to sleep even though it's wasn't bedtime. I guess some habits from the orphanage and going to be popping up here and there. I brought her back out and played toys with her. She is now c

hatting away (which I don't understand and

wish I did) to her baby, she is rocking her and changing her. She looks really happy.

Happier moments

2009-03-09T01:24:00.000-07:00

Happier times at lunch today - Lily LOVES her girlie things. We put on a little dress today and she keeps checking herself out in a mirror. She loves her baby and barbie too.

She then went down for a good nap. I

put her in bed and she rolled over and fell asleep for 2 hours.

Another day, another tear...

2009-03-09T01:11:00.000-07:00

This morning at 9:00 a.m. we needed to go the the Civil Affairs office to offically register our adoption with Lily. When we walked into the office the lovely lady from the orphanage was there as well. As soon as Lily saw her, her eyes went big and she started a low painful moan, she cried through most of the hour meeting. At one point one of the chinese ladies tried to take her from me to comfort her and she screamed "my mama" and wouldn't go. Although she is grieiving many things I do think she is making the attachments with us. My passport photos were not the right size so we then had to go get new photos done at the photo lab and wait an hour. Our lovely guide lived very close so we went to her apartment for an hour. I have not seen one house yet, everyone seems to live in apartments very different from what any of us know. After the photos were done, we signed papers and will go back again tomorrow to pick up our Adoption Certificate.

When we finally got back to the hotel, we packed up and changed to our permanent hotel VERY NICE!!! Our rooms are side by side, there are 5 restaurants, 2 pools, massages, sauna's - just about everything. This is one swanky hotel - no complaints here. I just woke up from a nap and am still waiting for Lily to wakeup. Here are some shots from today.

It gets better...

2009-03-08T04:51:00.000-07:00

Once we were in our hotel room, we had toys out for her and the boys tried to play "dolls" with her. Everything they did she looked at me to see if I was still there and what I thought. It took about 15 min for her first smile. Ken was the first one to get it. From then on there she became a total ham Not kidding!! She got silly, was smiling, playing with the boys giggling. We went downstairs for a quick bite to eat, she woofed down an entire plate of food and was cheery and happy the entire time. She sat on all of our laps and seemed really happy. She said all of our names gege Ethan, gege Dylan, baba and mama.

We came back to the room where I gave her a shower (she wasn't too sure of that) and we snuggled in bed. At one point she fell asleep and tears stated coming out of her eyes - ugghh. We just keep tell her we love her (of course in Mandarin). She woke up and cried for about 10 min that she wanted to go home. She is now sound asleep like a little angle.

This was truly the most difficult and emotional day of my life. Every emotion has come to the surface today - we are happy, scared, still nervous and anxious and absolutely exhausted BUT she is a beautiful, happy little girl that we are falling in love with! Everytime I sneak over to look at her I start crying - she is perfect! (and very teeny tiny too)

Meeting Lily

2009-03-08T04:36:00.000-07:00

After we went to the orphanage we waited in a meeting room. We signed papers both with ink and we were also fingerprinted to authenticate our signatures. We were all STRESSED!! The boys werew quiet with wide eyes, Ken wasn't breathing and I went between the giggles and crying. The lady from the orphanage then told us she was going to get her and we saw them walking down the stairs together and I lost it.

As soon as Lily saw us she started crying - a lot. She was crying for her Nai nai (her nanny) and said she wanted to go back home. She sobbed. We clutched to the little poodle we gave her in her care package and wouldn't let go. We just kept saying I am your mama, dada, brother over and over again and she just kept on crying. We were all crying at some point or another.

Our guide, then carried her to the car for us while she mourned most of the way home. She eventually came to sit on my lap still crying. About 5 min from the hotel she stopped crying and clung to me with all her might.

Just looking at these pictures makes me cry. She broke our hearts and just cried her eyes out. Ken just looked at me and "what did we do?" and I thought to myself "I have no idea!" This poor baby girl is tearing my heart in two.

2009-03-08T04:31:00.000-07:00

Nothing in the world can prepare to meet your 3 year old daughter in her orphanage......

Is was about a 45 minute drive to the orphanage - we had to drive through many poorer areas of Beijing where both Ken and I were trying not to let our emotions get the better of us. We finally found her orphanage which was a beautiful large new building - well kept, clean, very child friendly. We both breathed a little easier.

2009-03-07T19:10:00.000-08:00

It took us awhile to get converters for the laptop and things were working a little slower yesterday including me:) Here are just a couple of random shots from yesterday.

We are now waiting - trying to keep busy. I am blogging, Ken is playing with the video camera and the boys are watching a movie. We have 1 1/2 hours until we meet our little girl. I switch between huge butterflies and my eyes welling up with tears. Anytime anyone from our group bumps into us and asks us I start to get all teary eyed. Everyone else in our group is leaving tomorrow morning (5:00 a.m.) to fly to their province to meet up with their daughters. We are the lucky ones that get to remain in Beijing and meet Lily today.

We went for a walk this morning - since the day started at 6:00. Breakfast was an interesting affair - a full buffet style breakfast, lunch and supper all served for breakfast. The toast was GREAT :) We are not so adventurous yet as the aromas are much different than what we are used to. On our walk we checked our some cool shops, took come pictures and guess what - went to McDonald's again for ice cream.

We will post when we get back from the orphanage!

It's Sunday morning (5:00)

2009-03-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

Ethan and I are wide awake and we can't sleep - I am paniking a little bit. In a couple of hours we will head out to the orphanage and meet Lily. I am overwhelmed and not sure what to expect. Yulin met Lily this week and said she was a total chatterbox and was bossing all the other kids around!! ha! By the time we post tonight hopefully we will have new pictures of Lily!

Soooo,

2009-03-07T04:38:00.000-08:00

Here I think I am all prepared, organized, everything is ready. I have all day tomorrow to make a bank appointment, pick up food for Lily, practise our Mandarin saying and get settled in. We just found out that at 1:00 tomorrow we will get Lily. WE will be taken to the orphanage where we will meet her, she will then come home with us. We go back on Tuesday to the governement offices to make everything official. Yulin met her earlier this week and said she was a total chatterbox and was bossing all the little kids around. I cannot even imagine what her personality will be like. I cannot wait until tomorrow.

WE ARE HERE!!!

2009-03-07T04:20:00.000-08:00

We are now in Beijing after a very long flight. Dylan and Ethan slept like champs. We are currently in the hotel room eating McDonalds - mmm. It is currently 8:20 p.m. and we are dying to get to bed.

I cannot upload all of my pictures but I did get one of Starbucks and the Cox's the other couple from Waterloo in our group.

Today

2009-03-05T18:59:00.001-08:00

Today was bittersweet for me. I am thrilled to be starting my journey to our daughter but today I said good-bye to 19 amazing kids. My students this year are amazing and very dear to me. I loved going in to school each day and seeing their smiling faces and inquisitive minds. I received so many wonderful wishes and heartfelt congratulations - I am very lucky to have taught these children - someone did a great job raising them - thanks parents:)

We leave tomorrow morning for China. Things were a little hairy tonight - Ethan is vomiting, Dylan is in a tizzy and there is still MORE paperwork to do. I am sure all of it will work out as long as we make it to the airport on time:)

Good night and we will post again tomorrow!

A word from the Dad

2009-03-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

OK, until now it's all been about Penny, so I thought I'd add my two cents...

We leave in a couple of days. So many people have asked me if i"m SO-O-O excited. I think I may have given the wrong impression by hesitating. I'm so excited that I can't sleep right at night. The only thing that worries me is pretty much the same as any new parent worries about...Am I up to the task? With Lily we have a great advantage (no diapers, no getting up every two hours for feedings -- like I did that), but I am concerned about her not wanting to come home with us. I'm concerned about the language barrier.

In my heart though, I know that everything was put into place by God to bring Lily to us (even when we doubted it because nothing seemed to go our way), and it was his intention for us to be together. Just thinking about this makes my heart stop beating too quickly and brings me an inner calm.

Adopting a child from anywhere was probably the furthest thing from my mind when Penny and I started our journey through life together, but now I can't imagine my life without this little girl whom I've never met. It's crazy how things can change your life.

Thanks to everyone who has not only shown an interest in our adventure, but who has supported us, helped us and added their strength to ours.

We love you all!

P.S. Three more sleeps.

Update

2009-03-03T18:07:00.000-08:00

Woohoo!

It's Tuesday - only 3 more days left!!!

We received an update from our agency's director: this week she actually met Lily!!!!! She said that she is beautiful, happy, healthy, definitely a leader (oh no:) and not chubby. For those of you that know the weird dreams I am having that will make you laugh. I am so relieved and at peace to know that she is doing well. She must have been brought back to the orphanage to get ready for the adoption. In less than a week she will be our daughter. Many people are asking how we are doing and if we are excited. A couple of days ago I would have said more scared than anything but now we are calm and anxiously awaiting her arrival:) We are packed and all the horrendous amounts of paperwork are done. Just a few more odds and ends and we are done thanks to the help of our family and friends. Lily - here we come...

.Look at those cheeks!!!!!!!!!

My thoughts these days are constantly on Lily. My heart aches for her and what she will have to endure in the next week. She won't know what is going on and who these crazy white people are that are taking her away from the only family she knows. Please keep her in your prayers that she can feel our love and know that she will be taken care of and of course adored. I truly hope that her transition is an easy one and I know she will grieve but that attachment will come quickly.

Overjoyed!

2009-02-19T03:40:00.000-08:00

Ken and I are overjoyed and overwhelmed by the love and support we have received over the last couple of weeks. Our family, friends and coworkers have been so kind, supportive and loving. We have received MANY emails, phone calls and well wishes - we sure know that Lily will be prayed for and loved. Thank you all for taking the time to let us know how "happy you are for us" and for supporting us. It means a lot to us.

15 more sleeps left until we are on a plane to meet Lily!!!

The next 25 days....

2009-02-08T11:49:00.000-08:00

Well, most of the legal documentation is done. Lily's room is ready, she has clothes and some toys. We now need to start packing. I am slowly trying to get everyone ready for a trip of a lifetime. Not really sure how I go about doing that :)

We also need to decide what and where we want to go in China. Since we are staying right in Beijing there is plenty to see and do. Our family day is on Monday March 9th. We will have some government and doctor's appointments to fill in some of the days. We want to go see the Grat Wall of China, The Forbidden City and if possible (a flight or train ride away) the Terracotta Warriors.

The Room

2009-02-08T11:29:00.000-08:00

Lily's room is finally done. Ken has worked so hard on it - and it is beautiful!!! Ethan thinks this is Ken's best work yet :)

Yeah - there's pink in my house at last - enough of the camouflage!

Here we go!!!

2009-02-05T19:28:00.000-08:00

We got a call this week saying that we are ready to go!!! We booked our flights and will be leaving to fly to China March 6th. Only 1 month away. We will meet our precious Lily on Monday March 9th. My heart is overwhelmed with joy - we can't wait to meet her and bring her home!

Now what?

2009-01-28T17:21:00.000-08:00

Well, we have lots to keep us busy, which is a good thing because we are aching to go get her. Tomorrow we mail our Letter of Acceptance to our agency. After they received our signed copies as well as those from the ministry the documents will head on over to China. China then will issue a TA (Travel Approval) anywhere from 2-4 weeks later. Once we have those documents we can book our Consulate appointment and book all of our travel plans. We will plan to travel 6-8 weeks from the time of booking. I know it will be tight but we are praying to travel in March or early April. The sooner the better!

Lily grew up at the Children's Welfare Institute of Beijing City. For the last 6 months she has been living with a foster family. We hope and pray that she is loved and kissed goodnight every night! We will travel to Beijing to complete our adoption. We feel like the luckiest people in the world.

Our Girl!!!

2009-01-28T16:44:00.000-08:00

We are proud and honoured to present our daughter Qiuyu. Her Canadian name will be Lilian Rain Marie. We will call her Lily for short. (Ken is humouring me and letting me name her Lilian - his pick is just Lily). Her Chinese name means Autumn Rain - describing the day she was born. Rain also means abundant blessing from God. We feel so blessed and overjoyed that we have found our little girl!

Lily is 3 1/2 years old. She was born on August 14th 2005. She is 89 cm tall. She is a moderate sleeper and is said to be fairly outgoing. She loves music and dances to the beat. When she swings she giggles out loud. She is beautiful, her cheeks are so kissable - we can't wait to smooch her all up!

Ethan and Dylan are so excited!

Our story from the beginning... (shortened version)

2009-01-28T16:30:00.000-08:00

3 and 1/2 years we began the journey to China. We decided that we wanted to adopt a child from there. After many meetings with our social workers and copious amounts of paperwork we were ready to send our file to the Ministry to see if we would qualify for adoption. After we received our approval from the Ontario government, our dossier (file) headed off to China. We were logged in July 5, 2006. Phew!

Over a year later (September 2007) CCAA dusted off our files and reviewed us...and we were approved!! With a great sigh of relief we settled in for the long wait. When we started this journey the wait times were about 9 months and beginning to grow and grow.

When it was time to update our home-study and our official documents the wait had grown up to almost 3 years and was increasing every month. Our social worker suggested to look at the special needs program - we did our research and prayed a whole lot. We sent our updated home-study and approval for the new program. Thinking we still had another year wait we were pleasantly surprised (OK - completely shocked) to receive a call Saturday, January 5th, at midnight saying their was a little girl our coordinator thought was perfect for us. After receiving the files - we saw Wei Quiyu and knew in our hearts that this little girl was our daughter.

We sent in our LOI on January 6th and received our approval (LOA) on January 23. We are getting closer!! China - here we come!